


Each Step on the Journey Onward

by frapandfurious, squire



Series: Big Brothers AU [24]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also the staple SW tag, Developing Relationship, First Time, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Phasma Is So Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 17:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19407877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/squire/pseuds/squire
Summary: Ben and Hux help pack and clear out Phasma's old place and they can't help but remember...





	Each Step on the Journey Onward

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline note: This fic starts and end in the "present day" of the boys, which, by our reckoning, is sometime in 2025. We know. We didn't think it through when we started this AU back in 2016.

“Hux, can you get the maintenance dossier? I’m sure I left it in the kitchen somewhere,” Phasma called out from the bedroom where she was trying to make her vast array of clothes fit into a gargantuan suitcase by sitting on it. “I  _ know _ this carpet was ripped before I moved in, and I  _ think _ I made a photo of it, and  _ no way  _ the landlord is pinning this on me,” she muttered. 

“On it,” Hux called back, put down the can of wall paint he was currently using to fix holes left behind by picture frames, stepped into the kitchen - and nearly stumbled on something. Right. Ben was supposed to carry the glassware boxes downstairs some time ago. Hux automatically reached for the lightswitch - after years of house sitting he knew this place like the back of his hand - but the room remained dark. Phasma must have switched off the main circuit breaker already. 

Helping Phasma pack and move out of her old place was filled with bittersweet melancholy. Hux and Ben used to spend a night here every now and then while Phasma was off and about some mad adventure of hers. Before Hux had gotten a place of his own outside the barracks, they would gladly jump at the opportunity to take care of the place, keep the fishtank alive, and of course make some good memories. 

Hux’s eyes got used to the gloom and he was just starting to recognise the dossier full of photos and bills on the kitchen counter - when there was a shift of air behind him, two arms sneaking around his waist, and an amused huff of air tickling down his nape. 

“Ben.”

Said man was making shuffling steps forward, slowly manhandling Hux around the kitchen island and forward until he was trapped between the counter and the body of his husband.

“Don’t mind me, just making sure you don’t stub your toe on a box.”

“On the box you were supposed to have cleared away ten minutes ago?”

Ben’s hands surreptitiously shifted down from Hux’s waist, caressing the top of his thighs and skimming back up to catch on his belt. 

“I needed a break, they’re heavy.”

Ben’s voice was so light and playful, almost too light. Hux suspected that Ben must have stepped outside earlier to give himself a moment. The nostalgic mood was probably getting to him the same way it was getting under Hux’s own skin. Also for Ben to get so clingy right in the middle of moving spoke volumes. So instead of pushing him away and making him get back to work, Hux leaned into that familiar warmth and said: 

“I know for a fact you can lift more than that.” 

Ben’s fingers settled again on his waist, their gentle insistence bringing up a particularly good memory. 

“You do?”

Hux nodded. “Yeah, and this very kitchen is my witness.”

Another chuckle ruffled the hair on Hux’s nape. “You remember.”

Hux laughed too. “It’s been… what, fourteen years? God, we were so young. No greying hair back then...”

A kiss landed on his temple. 

“I love these. Last I checked, I didn’t sign up just for the pumpkin years, but for the hot silver fox years, too.”

"Let's wait what you say once you catch up," Hux grumbled, turning around and grasping a lock of Ben's hair. He tugged him an inch down and buried his nose in it. Ben's mane of dark hair was still as thick and rich as ever. 

"At least you've aged in a distinguished manner," Ben replied, momentarily letting go of Hux's waist to pinch his own belly. A definite softness developed there ever since he stopped daily dance practices. "My twenty one old self used to be much leaner…"

Hux used this moment of advantage to spin them around and push Ben up against the counter to whisper in his ear: 

"You're just as perfect now as you were back then..."

_ End of June 2011 _

“Hey Phas, where should I put these-” Hux turned around, trying to balance the precarious stack of dirty plates in his hands, and startled when the steps following him to the kitchen turned out to be not his lifelong friend but his still very new boyfriend. 

“Phasma passed out on the sofa,” Ben shrugged in explanation and then moved fast. Some of the topmost plates decided on a downwards route and he caught them just in time. “Whoa, easy there. Shards for luck and all that but not in a new place I guess...”

“Thanks,” Hux breathed in relief. “So much for her ‘I bet I’ll be the last one standing here’, then.”

“Asleep like a baby,” Ben grinned. “Though in all fairness, if I drank as much as she did, I’d be brain dead two hours ago.”

Ben never drank much, at least as far Hux could tell. There was their first date at Starkiller, then a couple more, one dinner date with a truly delicious dessert wine included, but for some reason Ben seemed very reserved in his alcohol intake. Hux could appreciate that. He was tired of dates that had to get hammered before they even considered him fuckable.

Hux himself had wisely chosen not to compete with Phasma tonight and so all he was feeling was a pleasant buzz, lifting his mood and dropping some of his reservations just the right way. 

“Everyone else’s gone?”

“Pooled into a taxi five minutes ago and left us with the clean up,” Ben said with a wry smile. 

That made Hux pause. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to bring Ben here, to Phasma’s first party in her new place she moved in after landing a deal with  _ Frontline _ . He couldn’t refuse her invitation - Phasma was his buddy back in his early Academy days and even though she dropped out and became an investigative journalist instead ( _ I was too nosey to stay in line _ , she put it,  _ and when I couldn’t not question a simple order, how could I not question the bullshit the government is feeding us? _ ) she remained his best friend. But Ben never met her before, nor any of the others, mostly Phasma’s friends, he had to sit there watching everyone else getting shitfaced and now it looked like he was expected to clean up as well…

“You know, you should go home to get some sleep. Don’t you have a shift tomorrow? I can manage this. I’ll just gather everything here and leave it to Phas and her hangover.” 

He was babbling and he knew it. But he also had three days off-duty and he wanted Ben to like him enough to say yes to another date tomorrow, this time just the two of them.

Ben frowned at the stack of dishes as if it was a challenge. 

“I checked, the night bus I need to get to the studio isn’t going for another hour. I can just as well help before I head there.”

Hux turned to the sink to hide his embarrassment. It slipped his mind that Ben didn’t have a home, just a place to crash in. A mattress and a duffel bag of clothes, the rest of his earthly belongings piled in the trunk of his car. Hux was really making this awkward…

“Also it’s only fair I help. I had a great time.”

Ben’s voice sounded much closer and then a hand appeared at the counter edge from either side of him, trapping Hux in the cage of Ben’s arms, and a big nose nuzzled along the side of his neck. 

A little of the tension left Hux but not all of it. 

“The hostess is asleep, no need to be polite you know.”

Ben shifted closer and gently pulled Hux to lean against his chest. He was so warm and solid, and smelled amazing-

“Okay, I had a horrible time.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Oh you should be,” Ben continued, and this time Hux heard the teasing smile in his voice. “Sitting there and watching you all night, being so smart, so radiant, it was like staring into the sunset. Brilliant, beautiful thing that you can’t touch.”

Hux hoped he wasn’t blushing too much. “You could touch. You did,” he pointed out. “I was literally sitting in your lap for the better part of it,” he reminded Ben of the woeful lack of seating arrangement in Phasma’s living room.

“Yeah, that was the horrible part,” Ben nuzzled him again, lips catching at the shell of Hux’s ear. “Having you so close and having to keep my hands in decent places. Keeping myself from not just kissing you all the time. What would Phasma say if we started making out in the middle of her party...”

Hux wiped his hands on a cloth and turned around, catching Ben’s hands before he could pull away in surprise at the sudden movement. 

“Well,” he drawled, “what’s keeping you now?”

That was all the encouragement Ben needed to latch himself full body onto Hux and kiss him, a little tentative at first but growing eager, almost desperate by the second. He tasted like the spicy crackers he'd been devouring all night, with a slight tang of wine that mingled with the minty sweet smell of his aftershave and Hux couldn't get enough of it. 

"You taste so good," Ben stole the words out of Hux's mouth when they parted. He sounded breathless, pupils blown, and Hux felt a thrill that this was because of him. 

"Your lips, so sweet, so soft-" Ben continued and Hux silenced him with just a hint of teeth catching on that plump bottom lip. Just a little nip, to show him he wasn't  _ just  _ sweet and soft, and the choked-off sound Ben made at that sent Hux's heart beating faster. The pleasant tingle along his skin was quickly transforming into insistent heat, traveling slowly down his flushed face and neck and pooling in his groin. 

"You're the one to talk," he snuck in between hungry kisses, "with a mouth like that, it's like your lips were  _ made  _ for kissing." 

He pulled back a bit to admire his work - Ben's lips, kiss-swollen, wet and bitten red, Adam's apple bobbing and eyes dazed. And then Ben grinned, in that little cheeky, lopsided way that was quickly becoming dangerously endearing to Hux, and said:

“They’re good for other things, too.”

Hux’s breath hitched. Ben’s tone was playful but his breath was coming short and shaky, almost shy. They haven’t done more than hold hands and kiss yet but now Hux knew he wanted more. He wanted everything that Ben was willing to give. 

“Ben Solo, are you propositioning me?”

He couldn’t imagine Ben getting even redder than he already was but somehow Ben managed that. Apparently, it was one thing to make suave insinuations and completely another to outright offer something. Ben squirmed and Hux couldn’t hold back a smirk. 

Ben’s eyes widened and then narrowed when he saw the quirk of Hux’s lips - and that was Hux’s only warning before he was spun around, large hands slid under the swell of his backside and he was  _ lifted _ and sat on the edge of the kitchen table. Hux gasped, legs automatically falling apart to pull Ben as close as possible. Nobody ever had the gall, nobody had the  _ strength _ \- and Hux loved it, head falling back with the thrill of being lifted so easily. With their one inch height difference now reversed, Ben wasted no time to explore the offered territory with full lips, teasing tongue… and more than a hint of teeth. 

“Oh, stop, no - not above the collar!” Hux gathered himself just in time. Immediately, Ben let go and tensed, dropping his head to rest on Hux’s shoulder. 

“Shit, sorry, too much?” he mumbled into the fabric of Hux’s shirt. He sounded frustrated.

Hux could feel his weight shifting, hands apologetically smoothing out wrinkles where they grasped so eagerly just a moment ago, and he clamped his legs around Ben’s waist to keep him from bolting. Then he lifted Ben’s head and ran the tip of his finger around the dejected downturn of his lips. 

“Too  _ good _ ,” he corrected him. He pressed down a little on that soft, yielding bottom lip, and a tip of a tongue darted out to meet his finger. Hux explored further, feeling along the sharp edges of teeth, imagining how good they would feel against his sensitive spots. Ben watched him, eyes flicking between Hux’s eyes and his mouth, and the reassurance he saw there made him finally relax again. 

“You lifted me so easily,” Hux told him. It still felt like something out of a dream. Ben’s face lit up with understanding and then he grinned. 

“We regularly do routines with lifts. Pretty sure that even Riz, he's the youngest one of us, is heavier than you.”

“Hmmm.” Hux considered the mental image. He’d have to go watch Ben’s dance group performance sometime soon. “What am I going to do with you?” he mused aloud. 

"You were saying something about my mouth…" Ben muzzled under his chin again, peppering the lightest butterfly kisses down the length of his neck. Hux popped the top two buttons of his shirt open to give him better access. 

"Hmmm, no, pretty sure that was you, don't you -  _ ah -  _ think you can  _ \- yes right there  _ \- distract me-" 

Ben lifted his mouth from Hux's collarbone. 

"Getting there," he promised. "Just taking the scenic route," he added with a wicked grin and took Hux's hand, turned it around and planted a wet, sensual kiss in the middle of his palm. 

"Tease," Hux huffed but unbuttoned his cuffs. He'd have to do that anyway if he wanted to take his shirt off at some point… Not that he initially planned for that. Blowjobs were his favorite precisely because of no need to undress. Hux was toned and passed all his physicals, but he also knew that his torso looked lackluster at best, and compared to Ben's broad frame and his effortless strength… 

"You're so beautiful," Ben breathed softly between kisses. "I'm going to take you to the park one day, for a picnic, and we're gonna stay after nightfall and I'll get to see you in the moonlight. Your skin will  _ glow _ , Hux, and these-" he kissed the smattering of freckles on Hux's shoulder, "-will look like stardust."

Hux couldn't stand it much longer. The front seam of his trousers felt painfully tight. Ben was teasing, caressing and tasting every inch of skin slowly revealed to him, leaving a trail of tingling, tightening heat in his wake. Hux never imagined that the inside of his elbow, of all places, could be so sensitive. He never had the time, he never saw the point of slow, indulgent foreplay. But now he was falling apart from just kisses and praise, and if Ben didn't hurry Hux was going to be  _ talked  _ into coming in his pants, and that was… He clutched at Ben's hair and desperately tried to keep himself from just pushing him where he needed him most. 

But maybe Ben was just as impatient as Hux was because even the slightest tug on his hair had him groaning and following easily, as if the only thing he needed was for Hux to take the lead. He watched, eyes hungry, as Hux dropped his hand to the button of his pants, watched Hux flipping it open in invitation, and only then he took over and lowered the zip the rest of the way. 

Oh, but Ben was right. His lips were  _ perfect  _ for this. He knew what he was doing - but it wasn't just him being good. It was in the way he kept looking up at Hux, eyes clouded over with pleasure, the way he nuzzled his face on the inside of Hux's thighs as if he didn't want to be anywhere else, those little sounds he was making as if he couldn't stop talking even with his mouth full. Hux barely managed to warn him before it was over, too soon, and he was sure he blacked out for a second while Ben swallowed everything, licking up every drop as if he was the one who got what he wanted, not Hux. 

And maybe he did. Hux had never met anyone who would enjoy  _ giving  _ pleasure. 

But now all he wanted was to give it back. 

He didn't care for his pants still halfway down his thighs, for the shirt hanging askew off his shoulders, for the hard edge of the table digging into his ass. He pulled Ben up from his crouched position and kissed him, sated but still hungry for something, and didn't let go until he couldn't tell the taste of himself from the taste of Ben's mouth. He wanted to touch Ben. He wanted to make him feel so good he'd forget about anyone else. 

"Let me, please- let me see you, gorgeous, that's it, I've got you, I wanted you, I wanted this so badly-" 

Ben clung to him, trembling, and Hux barely gave him a few strokes when Ben curled on himself with a low groan, hiding his face in the crook of Hux's shoulder. 

"Sorry," Ben mumbled when he caught his breath, still holding on and making no move to let go, save for nudging his head into the caressing motion of Hux's hand. "Got a little too keyed up."

Something clicked in Hux's mind, forming his vague feelings into a decision, like another piece of puzzle settling into place. He liked to be held, but he liked to hold more. And something was telling him that despite Ben’s strength and demanding physical presence, the man just could have liked to be taken care of and to belong. They knew each other for a few weeks but Hux started to get the feeling that he wanted to keep this man for a while. 

_ Present day  _

  
  


"Me, perfect?" Ben laughed. "Hux, that was you. You were so… fascinating, and smelled so good, and I wanted just eat you whole and I didn't want to come across as weird, and I probably did, I was a mess, but you were perfect." 

"What? I was so nervous!" 

Ben stole a quick kiss in the dark and then rested his forehead against Hux's, as if he wanted to apologize for something. 

"I  _ was  _ scaring you, wasn't I. I was a mess…"

"No." Hux grabbed Ben's face in both hands and stroked his temples, fingers catching on soft curling hair. No silver yet, but maybe soon. His fantasy did come true, he did get to keep this man. 

"I was scared of screwing up, of being too pushy. I pulled your hair way too much-" 

"Yeah, and I loved that."

Hux chuckled and tugged on a lock to keep him from interrupting. 

"I didn't want you to feel like I was taking advantage of you," he confessed. "I knew you were twenty one but-" 

"I wanted you so much, and I had to focus on holding back. Everyone… People used to say I was too greedy, too clingy, too much of everything." Ben sighed. "I wanted to impress you, you know. I figured that was my shot, and I didn't want to blow it…" 

Hux couldn't help it. He started snickering. 

"What?" 

In the dark, Hux could  _ hear  _ the cogs turning and then Ben snorted. "Yeah, I  _ did  _ blow it… Literally."

Hux kissed him again, happy to taste mirth on his lips instead of earlier melancholy. That was one of the things he loved about Ben: laughter with him came so freely. 

And then he felt the smile under his lips grow into a smirk and Ben whispered: 

"So, what about a repeat performance?" 

"Wait, Phasma is not-" 

"Phasma is not  _ what _ ?!" They both jumped and blinked when harsh light flooded the kitchen, now with the addition of one very unimpressed Phasma in the doorway. 

"Phasma is  _ not yet  _ having the dossier she wanted," Hux said quickly and tried to act as if he didn't spend the last few minutes recalling one of his favorite memories. Judging by the narrowed gaze Phasma was following him with, he didn't entirely succeed. 

"Were you two making out in my kitchen?" 

"You signed off the lease, it's not technically your kitchen anymore."

"Oh my God, you totally were. Good thing I'm moving out. I was fine with you getting it on in the guest bedroom! But this? Five minutes later and I could've had one of you's naked butt on my kitchen table!"

Hux looked at Ben, who looked back. Both were biting his lip for a second before Hux gave up. 

"Sorry, Phas…  _ That  _ ship has already sailed."

Heavy or not, Ben had never carried a box downstairs faster in his life. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Tumblr - sinningsquire and obsessions-and-dreams :)


End file.
